Sunday, April 26, 2009

Brain food, Insults, and Kiddy parties


I bought 10 Ruth Rendell (Inspector Wexford mysteries) for £7.50 recently, and they are inspiringly quite "thin". Well they are not your normal John Grisham sized book you see, and they're equally good to read. They're stacked next to my bed in the correct order, waited to be gobbled through by myself.

Now you might recall that I once stated that I never read fiction during term time, as it sometimes stresses the point that I am not studying, hence I stress out! Well I am happy to announce that I am cured of that bug! (Not for the next billion and one...).

Yesterday it was my cousin's sons birthday, and naturally she had to hold a birthday party (for him I think...). I obviously didn't expect to be invited, but unfortunately I happened to pick the phone up when she rang, and so ended up promising that I would attend. (They want me behind the camera you see!).

The house was full of loud, noisy and sometimes annoying children, as well as their equally loud, noisy and .... (!) parents! I had a good time I must admit, as I ended up taking a few decent shots behind the camera which obviously put me into a better mood. However I chanced upon someone who has a disliking towards me. Milo once said to me that I sometimes don't really get it when people say "evil" comments to me, and just act normal. Milo doesn't know that I let people say what they want to because it shows me a bit of their character. I don't really get why people like to throw superiority (of any nature) onto others.

I know y'all are probably annoyed about me continuously mentioning that my planet Earth has changed and stopping there; but I would rather not say any more. The key fact is that I happy on the planet I am standing on at this moment in time. I am slightly stressed about a lots of things (due to jumping through space and time in my Tardis *cough*), but I have this small hope that I have started walking down that yellow brick road. I just don't know where it will lead me too.

Due to the fact that I'm not miserable, unhappy etc. a few people seem unhappy. Perhaps this is why I'm currently really enjoying the book "Shake Hands for Ever". There's an old woman called Mrs Hathall who revels in other peoples misfortune (and she's quite a character). It saddens me to say that I know a few Mrs Hathall's. Firstly, whatever I do is for myself, and once I'm Prime Minister (!) that's when they can say that I have achieved something! You see parties like this are a chance for everyone to get together and catch up. I haven't got any catching up to do and would rather prefer being told to just go and play football on the X-box (but alas the seats have already been taken... and nobody wants to risk being embarrassed by an amateur).

I hate people who want their egos pampering. Sigh. I am still annoyed, but it's more to do with my expectations of certain people. Thankfully it's another couple of months before someone else has a birthday!

I want to be an inventor and want to invent something cool. But what to invent, I don't know! I have been thinking deeply (which means for more than a minute of course!) about doing something drastic. At the moment I am drawing blanks... . I will keep you updated of course, if I think of something!

The title was misleading I'm afraid. Well I tried to work my way backwards, and was now meant to talk about all the junk food I am eating and how I need proper meals, as I am quite unhealthy. However, that would make me feel guilty and instead of phoning my sister for a lift, I would walk towards my destination! That's not going to happen thought... well I hope not.

I have a coursework in Geometry for next Thursday and and and I hate that module, so naturally I hate anything associated with it, which includes the coursework. I will go and study now (ha!) and see if my hate decreases for it. Ah this reminds me - I was supposed to search the net for some decent Intro. to Algebraic Geometry notes. (Anything to delay the studying....)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Final Galois Group lectures of the semester

Dear All,

You are invited to attend the last Galois Group lectures of the semester (and maybe my last one too!). Two lectures will be given next Wednesday (29th April) at 1:10pm in room G.205 by Speaker 1 - Linux for Mathematicians - a simple introduction; and by Speaker 2 - A "Group Calculator" to help in learning group theory. (Abstracts below).

The lectures are open to everyone, and registration is not required. Please do come along and make this event a success. Free refreshments will also be available at the end

For further information or any queries, please feel free to contact Dr. M.D Coleman or myself.

See you all there!

Best wishes, Beans
--------------------------------------------
Wednesday 29th April 2009 - 1:10 - 2pm
Alan Turing Building room G.205

Speaker 1
Abstract - Linux for Mathematicians ? a simple introduction
Drawing on approximately twenty years experience in writing and maintaining software in various aircraft stress offices, I intend to discuss why I believe programming skills are likely to be very useful to any mathematician who works with numbers.

I shall consider a few topics which are of interest to individuals rather than to employers, and show that computers allow mathematicians to get results which, a few years ago, would have needed large teams of people.

I shall also discuss the Linux operating system, and its support groups, as I believe this provides a suitable environment for people wishing to develop computer skills without relying on an employer.

AND

Speaker 2
Abstract - A "Group Calculator" to help in learning group theory
As an undergrad trying to grasp what symmetry groups are all about, I would have found it useful to have an easy "group theory calculator" to experiment with simple examples of groups. When I could not find a suitable program on the Internet, I set about writing one to teach myself basic group theory. Other students might find this a helpful study aid, so the talk will outline what the Calculator does. You can download it, plus fully worked examples, from mathstudio.co.uk.

Friday, April 24, 2009

I Dreamed a Dream

I haven't blogged for a very good reason. I call it escapism. Blogging makes me ask questions about what I will be doing next year. Blogging forces me to address issues that I do not have the guts to face.

I have been a massive chicken, I confess. However today, as the Tweenies enjoyed a cup of tea (and some sushi!) we all reflected on our three years at University and how only a month or so remains. It was sobering. Fizz (I think) commented that we shouldn't think of what we will be leaving behind, but take what we can with us. (Or something like that...).

I don't want to leave. I don't want it to end. But that is what will happen, I know.

My reluctance to accept that I will be leaving soon is due to many reasons. I want to remain unburdened by certain responsibilities which are a natural process of life, and which I fear will come across my path once I graduate. Namely "growing up". I don't mean becoming maturer - for I can't see that ever happening. A certain freedom is associated to being a student. We have disorder - chaos - in our orderly lives. But we get along just fine. We like the chaos.

I resent (to a certain degree) "unchaotic" systems. Things that force a stopper on human creativity and natural flare. University though, doesn't do that.

I know that I am "young and foolish" and I don't really know what lies ahead until I have taken a bite of the apple; but still my heart is restless.

Motivation is another thing which I am very low on at the moment. Exams are my worst enemy. The prospect of yet another year of exams is definitely making the fourth year look like the empty set. My circumstance have also changed - in all senses - financial etc.

But then I wonder how life modulo (human baggage) would be.

I feel sad because there is so much more that I want to do whilst at University, and I feel that everything is going to prematurely end.

Maths I still love (if you will humour me for a second!). However, I must confess that since the balance of my life shifted, I can't find the time to focus on studying maths. Hence I wonder, if I do four years, would it all end in tears?

I chose cool modules but I must say that I am disappointed with two of them - those which I expected to be more better. Namely, Number Theory and Algebraic Geometry. The course content in Number Theory seems yucky (!) - I know prime numbers are the goal, but it seems like another course on series - which I can't manipulate of course! Silly Von Mongoldt. Meh.

And the geometry course - well let me just say that I really miss Dr. Eccles' lectures.

I know that I like a certain type of lecturers, but if you ever study Maths at Manchester University, be sure to attend courses lectured by Dr. Eccles, Dr. Coleman, Prof. Stohr, Prof. Sharp, Dr. Walkden, Prof. Prest, Prof. Heil, Dr. Hewitt, Prof. Dold, Dr. Khudaverdian and Prof. Rowley (in no particular order - and I hope not to have missed anyone out!).

The above lecturers are all awesome and really friendly as well. Sigh.

Sadly, I can't even answer the question: What do you want to do next year?

Nothing. Maths. Nothing. Teaching. Nothing. Win the lottery. Nothing.

I know I'm not alone in my worries, for many other students are probably experiencing similar issues, but gosh does it feel lonely. I need to do something though. How can I leave?

All good things must come to an end? I think that's what Bella said to reassure the rest of us!

By the way, you are all invited to attend the last Galois Group lectures of the semester next Wednesday 29th April 2009, and perhaps my last one too. (Kill me now! ;) ). Well at this moment in time it is my last Galois Group lecture, hence why I am being forced to do the introductions, even when it's not my turn! It's been good though - The Galois Group. And when the second speaker of next weeks lectures asked me: "Have you enjoyed it?"- "Too much" was my reply.

I'm sad that I couldn't get the mugs produced though - and I'm desperately trying to think of something to give to the volunteers. (Whilst trying to pass my exams!)

Whoops - I'm running out of steam now. The title of this post and indeed this post came after I watched Susan Boyle (yes everyone's talking about her!) on YouTube. It was her song (lyrics below) which seemed to cry out for attention:

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high,
And life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

Then I was young and unafraid
When dreams were made and used,
And wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung,
No wine untasted.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hopes apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

And still I dream he'll come to me
And we will live our lives together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms
We cannot weather...

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living
So different now from what it seems
Now life has killed
The dream I dreamed
.

I'll have TGG post up soon as well. Hopefully I can stop avoiding this blog too. *Tries to end on positive note *

It's the weekend! Woohoo!