Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Slowing down

I talk at an unnaturally fast speed and I always have done so. I have a perfectly "acceptable" excuse for this, but I'm not the in the "perfectly acceptable mood" to disclose it.

I'm still in the AT building waiting to dump the refreshments in Dr. C's office. He wasn't in before but I do hope he sends me an email when he's free (as unlikely as that sounds).

As you can tell (perhaps) from my "short paragraphs", I'm not amused... . Frowning deeply is something I am an expert at, and this moment in time is no different.

I don't want tomorrow to come. It feels wrong. The Galois Group just stinks this semester. I'm going to ask Dr. C to do the introductions, for at this moment in time I want to attend tomorrows lecture "fashionably late".

I just realised that I have to also worry about the key to the kitchen tomorrow and the tables.

I am beginning to understand why sometimes you hear of people who do something once and then not do it again, no matter how great it was. You would think that the second time round, the contacts have been made and people know your business. That is not quite true and it is a naive assumption to make. I honestly don't understand how I am sat here calmly when my insides quiver with fury.

Fury at the central timetabling people. Fury at tomorrows lectures. Fury at everything. Once again I should remind you of a child who doesn't get the red power ranger, but instead the silly blue one. What am I expected to do? Be patient? Hope for the best?

Things might turn out nice tomorrow, but when for example you want jam on your toast but there's none left (anywhere in the world!), what do you do? You either go without, or make a big fuss. I am currently trying to control this big fuss desperate to come out from within me, but I need my jam.

Meh. I accidentally let it slip to Bella that I wrote something for something and she went and told Milo. Now I'm in trouble for not telling them in the beginning for now they can't read what I wrote. (That was the initial plan...).

What do I need to do? Well get rid of the refreshments is a start! Never in my life* have I wanted to close my eyes and then open them to find everything honky dory, as I do now. *my life is defined by intervals, let us not worry about which interval I am in now!

Anyway, you could all help and make my worries lessen by attending tomorrow. Hopefully I'll grow out of this furious equilibrium I'm in, but I'm sure the walk home will help. Just now I noticed someone notice my poster. The lectures tomorrow at 1:10pm in G.107, I shout silently. It's tomorrow.

This sense of being defeated is quite demoralising if I say so myself, even though the defeat isn't yet a physical thing.

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