Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Instructions to calm down

Yesterday I mentioned that I was very tired and when I came out of my midday slump, my energy reserves were overflowing. Today they continued to overflow. Although I was very tired again, today they had to be there and help me through the day.

I probably do come across as slightly mad when I am hungry and tired at the same time, but I always talk to myself on normal days and generally try to be at two places at once (the Physicists might want to explain this phenomenon) . My body reacts quite weirdly (when I'm tired and hungry) and I end up getting an adrenaline rush, when all my conditions actually want to me collapse and recover. I would say that I'm normally energetic, so you can only imagine what this rush does to me!

Anyway, I did need to calm down today and my instructions came at the right time - when I was getting angry at 4pm! Today was a TGG day you see. My first 'clench of the jaw' moment was when and I rushed about trying to a mock posters printed only to have to wait 10 minutes for the computer to log me in. I had to ditch the plan and head to my lecture instead, and work on TGG again in the afternoon.

I still haven't seen George and I can't stick the posters up until I do so. This was the cause of my growing anger at 4pm. All the posters should have gone up today but they haven't and I wasted 1.5 hours in the process. I crazily decided to walk to the third floor on more than five occasions to meet George, but he was playing hide and seek and I ended up making the lonely journey down more than I would have liked. After the fifth time, my energy reserves were depleted and I had use the the lift up! (Weirdly I still didn't slump - perhaps because I had an agenda?)

Yes - after my lectures and a 'break', I finally found a computer which worked and only took five minutes logging me in; but I had to be terribly patient before this as two computers had refused to work after making me wait for 15 minutes. The nerve of them! I played a little cheeky game once I had occupied my computer, but I will post on that when I can be bothered to log into my p-drive. (I want to finish this post so I can sleep!)

Emails were sent, a lot of running around happened, more emails were sent and then I unfortunately ended up bugging Dr. C again. (My plan is to not to bug him as frequently as last year, for just because I have no students on my team I can't expect him to be the staff and student coordinator!) I had no excuse today, whereas yesterday was our "official TGG meeting". But there's always tomorrow to learn and improve. I say this with a certain sadness for a third year student who I know asked me whether I believed that TGG would continue floating after I left. Sadly I had to reply that it probably wouldn't. My aim is to get Dr. W to take charge again but where are the students?

Today I talked to more lecturers about TGG than students! (Not that I mind of course, but it's the lecturers who I am more concerned about. When diving to avoid me they might injure themselves... :p) And I guess it's no longer enough to hear that "I've done a good job". It's no longer about doing the job any more, although that has to be done. My Steinbeck foreshadowing techniques warn me of difficult times!

Sigh. I am very calm now. I have been evicted to planet zero (i.e. the non-existing planet).

I'm also calm for I have realised why I was instructed to be calm. Today I did what I used to do last year: I firstly went crazy about TGG but then my plan didn't work, so I tried something else but I kept on trying and still only half the job was done. When the plan didn't work the first time round I should have left the posters in Dr. C's office and packed my bags for the day. This would have ensured I went home in good time and avoided being crushed by the rain! It also would have meant that I could work from home, which is where most of my work is now. (Well Infinite Descent is on my computer and so is the dodgy homepage). I need to stop trying something else and stop "hanging around the maths building". It may be healthy for The Galois Group, but not for my Maths.

[Seriously speaking I would love to be given an office! Well a room at least which I could utilise for storing the posters/refreshments (instead of Dr. C's office) and which also has a computer at my disposal for whenever I need it to update the homepage, make the magazine or make the posters! Well the mathsoc have their own cosy little office and what good do they get up to? Meh. I already have my own little office which no one knows about, but it has no computer or storage space and can be accessed by the whole world (and animal kingdom!). I'm not telling you where in the AT building it is though!]

Moving on, I might actually drop combinatorics now for I have just scarred myself for life by having a glimpse at last years exam paper and the problems sheets! I know they're obviously going to be impossible, but these are just evil!

Yes - I'm slumping now.

Wednesday - today - should be a fantastic day I. I won't be doing any work whatsoever, but if I'm unlucky I might do certain TGG things*. I sometimes wonder whether I would actually discourage other students from doing something like TGG!

* It really should read "if I'm lucky I'll do TGG things", but didn't for then I will get into trouble for I promised not to.

Wow two very contrasting days. A fantastically tired Monday and an erratic Tuesday, which caused some calming measures to be introduced.

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