Friday, July 04, 2008

Me me me

I have learnt a lot about myself these past few days, which is rather unfortunate. I would have preferred learning about something more interesting, say Maths, but I have been unable to do so.

Sitting in one place for most of day and being unable to move is very restricting. I learnt that I am perhaps a tad impatient. Well if you have three letters that require posting (by recorded delivery) and you find that they are not being posted what can one do? I have sat and endured the trash TV. I have sat and endured the laughter and comments such as "good you needed the rest". But what I can't endure is depending on people to post my three letters, which by the way still haven't been posted. (I even asked nicely).

I did comment last week that I didn't like it when people depended too much on others, and I think that's because I don't like doing the same myself. My fuse has become very short these days, and I admit to have become a very different bean. I saw this week as "my week". The week where I tied loose ends.

Imagine you're a cop and you have to close a case down and tie loose ends (I haven't just watched The Departed!). Now further imagine that you have an accident and you find yourself stranded and unable to complete your work. Also no one else is there to continue your work because no one was on your case to start with. Now wouldn't you be one very annoyed and frustrated copper? Whose going to catch the bad guys?

Sigh. Yes I need to be patient, but for how long?! Just give me my five million cats and leave me alone, is what I've been feeling like.

Another thing I've learnt. I'm not as lazy as I sometimes claim to be. Yes, I'm lazy when it comes to certain things, but when there is something there that I want to do then I'll try my hardest to do it. At this moment I want to do a lot but because I'm on a short fuse and this damn hopping is getting on my nerves, I just do nothing...

I see them all running and groan inwardly. Then I do something foolish like try to walk and suffer the consequences. I'm going to post my three letters myself, and from this we learn that I can be a very stubborn git. (I sometimes blame maths on that "quality" shall we say!)

Honestly speaking I can't understand how people can sit watching TV for hours on end, but then I understand how it's possible. I disappear to my room sometimes and they say I'm a hermit. Well I would rather be that than a couch potato! (At least in my room I will be able to keep a tighter lid on the growing fire within me).

Actually I am lazy. But wait, I don't know. I have cancelled my driving lessons but my instructor told me to get the theory test out of the way now. I had six weeks but four of those remain. And guess what---I can't be bothered and have yet to do any reading. I like driving but the theory? No thank you. I don't think I'll ever pass because all I keep on hearing is "either you're a rubbish driver or your instructor is rubbish." I can hold my hand up and say that I'm not too great, but I don't really have that drive to pass just yet. I just like driving even though it's costing a fortune...

Consider this post an outburst of some sort. The only place I can actually read maths books and do "proper work" is at my desk. Don't ask how that happened, but because I can't get to my desk I haven't been doing anything. I've lost my wallet too, but that's because I can't look in all the usual places at this moment in time. Laugh while you can, I tell them, but i I will be walking and running again soon.

The one positive that I actually wanted this post to be about, was this deadline that I was working towards. The deadline is today (Friday) but I have submitted everything yesterday. I am slightly nervous but in a months time we'll see if I should have been worried.

Apologies for "letting steam out" here. I have controlled myself for three days but alas, sometimes things get the better of us.

For the time being, I think I'm going to conclude with "I'm lazy".

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