Saturday, May 10, 2008

Sweeney Todd

I really want to watch Sweeney Todd at this moment in time. Its darkness has already surrounded me and all I hear is the barber's deadly voice--singing.

Revision is what I should be doing every second of the day. I'm not. Today in algebraic structures I had the biggest of panic attacks. I didn't understand a word of what was being said. Madness, I cried. Why was it that I was only able to answer the question requiring me to find the gcd of two polynomials?

I was talking to someone earlier today and they asked me when my exams start. Next week, I had tensely replied. "You won't be smiling then", was the painful truth. I shouldn't panic, but my situation can't be any worse than what I am saying. I can't stop myself from comparing my non-existing revision to that of the Tweenies. I should be revising as much as them but I'm not. I can't. The next two weeks are going to be horrible. I have four exams and I'm only ready for 0.5 of one of them.

The problem is that I have been telling everyone "it's OK if I don't do as well as I would like to this year, I'm not expecting much from myself either". That is one big fat lie. It's not OK.

You see PS said he is going to try to fulfil his part of our "agreement", and I have been trying miserably to do my part of it. My part is much more depressing and painful I feel, and I was down in the dumps the other day due to my plan being ruined. I'm taking my part one step at a time, and funnily enough Dr. C even said that PS probably wouldn't mind helping me do what I have to do. That won't work was my dull reply. Sigh. I have to get the best I can in these exams to help me convince the world.

That seriously doesn't look like it is going to happen though. I can be very negative when I have to, and panicking has never helped me! I'm a loose cannon who has gone stray.

By the way, I realise that I probably sounded erm... immature in my previous post but it was very important for me that the final lecture went great. Whoops, I thought I had decided to forget what TGG was for four weeks?

Enough. I have two days to revise everything in Geometry *cue mental laugh* and then one day for algebraic structures, followed by three days for calculus. (Then its the blimmin exams--aaahhhh!) Geometry in two days should have you all laughing, (and me crying of course). To be organised... if only.

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