Saturday, May 03, 2008

Being a "git".

Yes, that is what I have been at times this week.

I had a driving lesson this morning, and you could say I had "stormed" out of the house. I'm not a driver yet (in the same way I'm not a proper mathematician), but I enjoy my lessons. My instructor always inquires as to whether or not I have my driving head on. Today I had replied: "Sorry, but you had better be extra alert today--I have my troubled head on.".

The lesson thankfully went OK. Everything depends on how lazy I am, and I can be very lazy at times! Anyway, the lesson allowed me to redirect my annoyance and general worries at other drivers, who saw a learner and tried to be clever. I must confess though, I always tend to speed up when I see someone whose waiting to turn right! Sometimes they go for it and I end up saying "MORON" and slowing down. Haha, also when I am at the front of the traffic lights and the person opposite wants to turn right, I always make sure I start of quickly. I do be silly at times, but I would rather do stupid things with my instructor there (and get battered for it) as opposed to being on my own.

I digress. After my lesson I felt more calmer and better, but that is what it has been like all week. I have had a good day and then a bad patch and then good again etc. I have probably upset people this week, which is not very nice. Normally my stresses and worries hide under my skin and reside there happily. This week there has been an overflow of worries and they have been escaping and showing themselves. So firstly, if anyone who knows me is reading this and has been at the end of one of my "bad" days, I apologise.

Due to a misunderstanding on my part, I think I have upset someone who I didn't want to. I will be apologising in person for this but I feel down in the pits because I should have double checked.

Anyway, my revision is going to start in erm... well as soon as this post is published. I am out of holiday mode and I would never advise you to go on holiday during term time. NEVER. It has taken me three weeks to get out of holiday mode, and now I'm waiting for maths mode to return properly. Although my holiday was great and fantastic, I think it was at the wrong time. You see I think (after all) that I like being busy and having purpose. Yes, having a period of complete relaxation and no stress is great, but I like doing things and being busy.

I also had a kick about today and the burning sensation in my legs was great. Walking is good for you but I think I need to start walking up 250 stairs a day again, especially since I don't play football as I once did. Sigh. It's great-- playing football, cricket, walking, feeling that blood rush to your head and that adrenaline pumping through your veins.

Now these posts bring a sense of deja vu, for it's exam period again. However, I can't expect myself to change and am waiting for even the smallest burst of motivation.

In a sense I want myself to become angry and hulk-like. It's quite weird, but my mum really takes advantage of me when I am annoyed etc, for then I tend to work extra hard and focus on the task at hand properly. (She normally makes me clean my room by this way, or empty the bins etc.)

If I am to unwind my stress on this blog then I feel that is acceptable. I know that everyone is stressed by exams etc. and if I am to add my stress to theirs, then that is very selfish. Why doesn't everyone make a blog then? Well students who think they're doing the world a favour by offloading their stress onto others. Not in one conversation have I ever brought exams or revision up because I know how it changes the mood... sigh. Come now beans. Two week are remaining until exams start and I have to let bygones be bygones.

Does anyone know if any job that one can do, which gives them lots of money but requires the least amount of work.

Note: That's a rhetorical question--there was no question mark at then end... although if you do have a solution then I'm interested in hearing it.

To anyone who has struggled to this line: PLEASE attend the next Galois Group lecture next Wednesday at 1:10pm in the Alan Turing Building room G205. I have the refreshments ready...

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