Monday, April 07, 2008

Long nights ahead.

Have I been neglecting this blog? Possibly. Will that continue? Possibly.

I am awake with a long sleepless night lying ahead of me, hence why I took that opportunity to write something. I have two coursework to complete and I don't feel particularly inspired. The algebra one I have nearly finished--I just need to type it up now. The calculus one, well my fists clench in rage when I think about it. It was a really long coursework in my opinion and unnecessarily so. For only 10% the amount of work we had to do was unbelievable. Well for the last part anyway. I know I have missed a trick, and I don't want to know that trick any more. (If I am told it then I will not be able to control my self). The last question has taken everyone too long to do, and even worse: NO ONE can agree on an answer. I did the question twice and got two different answers as well. This is enough to infuriate anyone, considering the fact that it's only worth 10%.

Sigh. Trust me to return to Blogistan with complaints.

I found peace for two weeks, and suddenly everything has fallen into its own place. I am forever changing my mind, so I won't say much more than that. However, before my holiday I could never confess to knowing what it means to be content and peaceful. No phone, no Internet and no TV. What more can a bean ask for? Beautiful places to walk to (and take pictures of of course!) but no stress. This is reality, I am reminded constantly, but no longer am I living it. I have to readjust as soon as possible. I don't want to. In a busy life you lose many things which you don't realise.

Sigh. I have lost this certain drive that I had, and this thing called motivation. I fear for the worst, I honestly do. This weeks is going to be horrible, what with 5 coursework on my head. Already I am thinking about not doing the discrete maths one! It's only 20% I say to myself. My grade boundaries have suddenly dropped. I can't explain this weird sensation. Maybe it will go away soon as I spend more time at university? Today I was walking very slowly to the AT building, due to the stress looming ahead.

Double sigh. I better end here. It's weird how a persons attitude towards certain things, and a persons aspirations can change so suddenly. It's not got to be back though--not good at all.

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