Friday, February 29, 2008

Book Thief!

On Dr. C's blackboard it says: "Beans has stolen a book". One could say that someone's name gives them definition i.e. their first and second name. So this brings me to my first point. The surname of that bean wasn't specified so fingers can't be pointed at me. Secondly, "a book" could mean any book in the world including "Cat and Mouse" by James Patterson. So if they insist I have the book then I will return that one (or any other book I have which might be liked).

But then they go on to ask me, to explain the following picture:
What do I reply to that, I'm under oath don't forget?!

Then the confessions come flying out of my mouth. Dr. E had lent me his book by ET Bell, after he was horrified that I had viciously attacked Bell's version of Galois' life in my lecture, without having read the book myself. I confess to not having made a start to it, but I promised Dr. C that I will return it before Easter. It seems that Dr. E had gone to Dr. C about his book! Haha, that made me laugh, for I'm no longer sure whether or not Dr. E actually believed me when I suddenly became dumb and deaf at the mention of his book. (To make myself feel better, at this newly formed alliance against me, I will console myself with the thought that Dr. E had felt he would never get his book back hence why he spoke to Dr. C about it. What good that's going to do I don't know! Well it has made me feel guilty so his plan might have worked after all.)

The LaTeX book on the right belongs to Dr. C. And NO before you believe what he wrote on his blackboard, I didn't steal it! I'm just borrowing it for the weekend (erm... well that was what I promised). I had been discussing trees and LaTeX with him, and he had gone to his book shelf for that book. It is my intention to have the coursework completed by the weekend, since it is due in next week; hence why I think it might be a tad inefficient to play around with new packages when I should work on answering the questions! The plan formed was to plot coordinates etc. to create my trees. The book is very useful, and where Dr. C saw a picture of a tank I saw a butter knife and a piece of toast. In my defence I had been looking at it upside down and my sandwich was still in my bag.

As Dr. C went to put the book back on his shelf, I hesitated for a moment with thoughts of his new allegiance with Dr. E floating in my mind, but then thought what the heck and went for the kill. Initially he did say no, but I think he was also remembering how easily I forget that Dr. E has lent me a book! I knew that the library wouldn't have them in stock (for the last time I had checked they were all out), and truth be told I couldn't be bothered going to the library. Desperate times call for desperate measures, so I had to reluctantly condition the borrowing of his book--I'll return it by Monday in one piece, and if it gets damaged he'll get a new copy from me. Not one scratch. (Well I don't intentionally try to damage books, for I am very fond of them, but I am the vulnerable party now).

By the way--it is one heavy book. Nice but heavy. My back will second that statement.

Does that clear my name? Please don't feel that you can't "lend" me any books after this ordeal I have been made to suffer. I will recover soon--of that you shouldn't worry. (I even rubbed "stolen" of the blackboard so be reassured). I think I might buy the LaTeX book for myself, for whenever I borrow it from the library it always gets recalled, and I only have Dr. C's copy for two days. Humbug. (I used to enjoy teasing Dr. E by forgetting what book he was talking about, but I can't do the same thing with Dr. C's book. I like to think that I keep my promises--although at times I do look for "get out now clauses" cf. doing half of the introductions for the lectures!)

I still can't stop marvelling at how snugly them two books fit on my shelf... and the fact that people out their actually trust me. (Muhahaha!! Actually wait, I shouldn't do anything to make them stop doing such a thing!) What can I say, I'm a trustworthy bean me! (In my defence I never stole money from the bank when I used to be the banker in monopoly...)


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Hadi said...

I like your talk and the way that your presented Galois life in a non-fictionalised way. Hopefully Dr. E will get his book back.

By the way, did you know there is a website called "Me & My Maths". The address is

Beans said...

Hi Hadi,

Thanks--I'm glad you liked it. (Although I did give a fictional account to begin with!)

You had me confused for a while! (I have comment moderation on you see). I'm assuming that the anonymous commenter was you too? And yes, Dr. E will get his book back! Haha, I never meant to keep it forever, but haven't had a chance to read it (until today that is!)

I didn't know about that site, but I know one called "My Maths": My blog was called "Me and My Maths" for a few days (once upon a time)!