Saturday, December 08, 2007

The not so brilliant plan

Why does the weekend no longer ever seem to be a weekend? Why do I find myself being stressed out (by others) on the weekend? I can't relax and unwind! GAH.

I am somewhat annoyed, namely at some peoples complete lack of consideration towards other people. I wanted to be stressed out by stats and numerical analysis today... honestly! That is the stress that I need right now - not stress by people. "We're going to build a computer tomorrow." "Can you do this for me?" "You haven't done this yet!" "Why is the printer not working?" "Can you install this?" etc etc.

Unfortunately I can't scream: NO LEAVE ME ALONE, for apart from sounding very childish and well childish, it will create further unwanted tension. I am unable to focus on what I should be focusing on. Is it too hard to ask to be left alone? Stress is all around me, and I want to actually embrace it and "descend" into the lonely world of revision and work. Yes, you read that correctly, I want to do this. I need to do this for Pete's sake! But this is mathematical and work related stress; other stress is just bad for the system.

It's weird, but I always seem to have a "leave me alone" period. Last year I clearly remember this time (and my post!) about this issue. Everyone seems to be doing "work, work, work" and that is all everyone can talk about. Next week it's week 12... already! That brings a chill to my bones for I don't feel like I have utilised my semester properly. On Friday a classmate asked me whether the Galois Group has caused me undue stress. Unfortunately the society has caused a lot of mathematics back log. I had naively thought that my last years experience would better prepare me for the stress of this year. How very wrong I was. Well I knew what I had to do, and probably did that in the first few weeks, but then this society changed everything (not that I am complaining about the society).

If I live to tell the tale next semester, hopefully it won't be as problematic. This is typical me - looking for an excuse for my own lack of discipline, but I honestly do believe that after reading week I have not studied at all. For six weeks I have not assimilated any new knowledge. And that is not me being hard on myself. Something needs to be done, which isn't currently being done so. Please tell me that I am not the only one who has fallen this behind? The Tweenies are all busy busy busy, the way I should be. Sigh. Yes, most conversations seem to be centered around what they are currently revising, what they have revised and what problems they have had. I just sit looking glum and then change the topic... only for it to return to the previous gloomy one. Bella keeps on "shouting" at me, and most people seem to think I am on top of everything. I must be a pretty darn good actor, if I am able to appear cool on the exterior and be rippling like waves inside.

Sorry to bore everyone with my stresses! When one is talking to oneself about what one hasn't done and what one should do, they feel slightly calmer. I mean if I was saying this to someone, they would shrug their shoulders and go on to say "I have finished my complex analysis and PDE and real analysis and.... revision" whilst I stand with my mouth wide open! I don't want sympathy. I want to find someone in the same boat as me!! That is a selfish thing to ask for indeed, but then I won't feel as bad about my current situation.

If it wasn't for stats and numerical analysis I would be semi-fine. I don't mind vector calculus so much as I mind numerical analysis. Vector calculus I did last year and so have Prof. D's cool notes to supplement my current ones. I also have the Stewart book which I found pretty great in many aspects. For numerical analysis I have squat. And stats... well my eyes are beginning to water at the thought of this horrid module, and my exam in January! (*there there


You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes.
You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know.
And you are the one who'll decide where you'll go.
Oh the places you'll go.

- Dr Seuss

4 comments:

Jake said...

"Also the binary operation on R is addition and on R* its multiplication. The * helps me remember this, for I know that for C* its multiplication too."

Just remember that for a ring R, R* is the group of units, i.e. elements in R with multiplicative inverses (in R). of course R is a group with respect to its addition by definition, so if R* was meant to denote the group with respect to the ring addition then you would always have R=R* and the notation would be pointless. Of course in number rings.

Беанс said...

Hi Jake,

I actually read about that today. (Which shows that I failed to do any stats or numerical analysis today. :/)

The problem in this module, and of course others, is that I am not doing the reading! Hence why I have no understanding of the definitions and can't really do much. :(

ZeroDivides said...

"I want to find someone in the same boat as me!! That is a selfish thing to ask for indeed, but then I won't feel as bad about my current situation."

I am at this very moment supposed to be studying my Economics, which is currently my most hated subject. Of course I saved it until last.

I am also pretty much still woefully behind, and my semester ends in less than a week, so you are by no means alone. (Luckily I did well enough up 'til now that I think I'll scrape by with only mediocre results on the final exams.)

Here's to procrastination. (Obviously I am doing a wonderful job studying my economics...)

Беанс said...

Hi,

My semester ends at the end of this week too! At least by studying economics you have reached the last module. (I was told to be positive... no matter how annoying that is!)

Here's hoping that we both come out on top. (To try and convince myself that studying stats and co. first was a good idea, I keep on saying "save the best for last"!)

Did you have to do the economics module?