Saturday, November 17, 2007


Is that too much to ask for? After having a very hectic and busy week, I thought that the weekend would be a nice time to relax and reorganise myself. No such thing can happen it seems, for whenever I want to do nothing, everyone wants me to do something!

I have to a small degree tidied my room, i.e. put all my last year files and books away, and all loose paper has gone into one big pile! I am now in the process of trying to order my notes for this year, since due to the coursework tests my numbering system has got messed up. This is indeed a tedious task, but it is telling me that I have misplaced some notes! Hopefully I will find them in some plastic wallet or other, but if not then I will not be very pleased.

This morning I woke up when everyone was probably having their lunch! I didn't wake up feeling great and what not, but just very slow. Unfortunately my slowness could only last for a few minutes, and soon everyone was shouting different things for me to do. I am not sure how many of these things actually registered, but nevertheless my weekend has not been calm and how I wanted it to be.

My cousins son (Power Ranger) has bacteria in his blood. Well one of them has, and he has become really sick. He went to the hospital yesterday and so his two younger brothers came to stay with us for some time. The baby one stayed the night here, whereas the other one didn't. Power ranger, as I will now call him, is only in reception at the moment so that makes him fourish I reckon. Here's hoping he gets better soon! (He has some weird rash thing on his neck, but the poor kid looked really depressed.) It can be quite exhausting entertaining little kids at times, especially power ranger 2! The thing with children is, if they find you doing something that makes them laugh, they want you to do it infinitely many times. How long can one balance a bottle on their head for, and watch it fall?! The baby power ranger is a funny guy. He laughs at whatever you are saying, which can be very encouraging. :D Another cool thing about babies is that you can have a whole conversation with them, and you tell them every little detail. I was telling baby power ranger about Wednesday's lecture, and he showed more interest than other people. (OK that maybe makes me sound like a loony, but we got a picture of him laughing in his sleep (thinking about what I had just told him obviously!))

That is enough baby talk for a while. I have been taking my stress out on various things today, but at least now England have a chance to qualify! My weekend plans have gone down the drain, but one thing I will be doing is reading the links that KTC posted. The website is related to something else I am working on, and needs updating. I invited one of my school friends to the lecture on week 10, but she got worried and said that everyone will know she's not a mathematician! I quickly told her that they are open to everyone, and she said she will think about it. Last year I had invited her to PS linear algebra lecture. She even made it to the lecture theatre and sat with us. However, unfortunately when the lecture was about to start she ran like the wind. That was a shame for she didn't get to see PS in action.

I am talking about random things now, because having calmed down slightly I am chickening out of posting the two posts I have in mind. (Maybe after my website gives me a few problem I will be back posting!)

A third year student I spoke to the other day, gave me some advice. Well not really advice, but he discussed his experiences. I had asked him whether or not he would consider studying more maths once he's graduated. He replied, "Heck no - I am sick to death with this studying, and so will you be." At that moment in time I disagreed and mentioned my desire to study. He said that the amount of modules you do and the studying required is too much. Once again I disagreed because I feel some of my modules are fun. The weird thing is that I am sick of it at this moment in time. I don't know what is wrong with me. I can't shrug this feeling of my shoulders! Don't get me wrong, I still love the maths and find it cool, but what is wrong with me then?

I think it might be because of the stats and PDE modules, and maybe these coursework tests. Which in itself brings me further to the root of the problem: I have fallen behind badly. I know I should be catching up, but that is what I can't be bothered doing. Am I just having a lazy moment? This feeling has thrown me off track. I am only really enjoying two modules at the moment, real analysis and algebra. Complex may be potentially cool, but it vexes me out. I am yet to see the beauty of it, and frankly can't care less that you do things in complex analysis which can't be done in real analysis. I know which I would prefer studying any day!

Sigh. This is why being a motivated and inspired learner is not good. The Tweenies are the complete opposite from me and can put their head down and get on with things. That is what I need to do now, but I just can't find that desperate final third to do so. I am sick of exams. If PS was to ask us whether we would prefer assessment 100% by exams, I would love to reply no to both options and say yes to no exams. I know this is just wishful thinking, but ...

OK, I will shut up now. Maybe this week will be much better, maybe not. The rubbish line I said to my friend was, "I can be bothered with all this anymore." What do I need to do to change that attitude I wonder!

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