Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Bounce bounce..

So how to begin. It seems that I am in need of a 'break' from MATLAB (you're supposed to say that in a slow sneering voice) so here I am. However I must warn you that this post might be a challenge to understand. It's seems I've got lots to say and want to say it all at once. Like when there's a box full of cake/sweets on the table with four people seated. You obviously eat what you have as quickly as possible so that you can quickly attack the box on the table, and whilst doing this eat the most!

Anyway, I previously said that my further maths teacher told me that he believed me when I said that I would bounce if I jumped out of the window. (I first wrote 'jamp' but what the heck- I'm inventing even more words now!). Anyway, that further maths lesson had been a pretty good one-for once I didn't have the urge to go for a walkabout because I couldn't do the exercise. Anyway Mr. H told me that he believed me and wouldn't require a demonstration. Shame. I mean if what you think would have happened had happened then I wouldn't be here typing this. And if what I know would have happened had happened then it won't be that big a deal. I mean I can't be the only person who would bounce?

Anyway, that was just some more preamble. Today I seemed to bouncing of everything. Seriously, it's been one of them days. Dare I compare this 'bouncing' to Tigger? Nah- I've never been a big fan of winnie the pooh. My mum has to force honey down my throat when it's sore. I crawled into university today. I woke up with a red eye, a sore back and leg (seems that I didn't miss carrying a heavy bag during the holidays!). As you can imagine I looked more scary than normal and you must forgive me when I say that I just couldn't concentrate in the first lecture of the day. I forced myself, really I did, I even made myself make notes of what was being said, but alas I ended up 'day dreaming'. :( Anyway, today it was Dr Yuan's last lecture and it's a shame that he didn't get a large round of applause. Only about 80 people turned up I think, but he was cool. I think it was because he was lecturing us about stats and matlab which made it worse. Not everyone has a strong stomach for these things!

Anyway after that lecture for about 3 flippin hours I attacked Matlab. I'm ashamed to have used bad tactics against it:

for P=[1 1.25 1.5 1.75 2];
% go through each p value one at a time you piece of *****

It retaliated. The stupid programme attacked me! It didn't save my session diary. It wouldn't let me save my workspace. It was 'busy' all the time! Just because I wrote four stars. Man, they could mean anything- I mean I was calling Matlab a star for Pete's sake. Hmpf. So yes it seems that I have found an enemy in Matlab. Help- please. What command will get it to work. I tried:

bad Matlab
Stop it
Sit
good doggie


That didn't work as well. It must have sensed that I'm more of a cat person! (cats>dogs). Computers seem to be taking over the world! AAhhhh. But on a serious note, Matlab really didn't work for me. Whenever I asked it to do trivial things, it became 'busy'. I'm pretty annoyed at this, but I'm glad that I've done half of the write up- means less work for later.

After Matlab decided to be a bad doggie, I decided to 'go for a walk about'. I seemed to have bounced out of the computer room and it was most amusing, until I realised that I'd been spotted! Well I recovered well, but it was nice to have a good old chat with my PT. I mean at this stage my bounciness was increasing. I just wouldn't shut up and had a good moan about the second semester with him. He was probably glad when I finally shut my mouth and bounced away. (It seems that he doesn't know how to use Matlab-I'm guessing that's his way of saying I'm busy, don't like Matlab and have work to do :D).

So I bounced up the stairs, and 'accidentally' took four steps at a time! Normally three is the limit and I must say I was lucky not to end up on the floor in heap. All this did was further amuse me. I finished my walk about and returned to the computer room. Fizz and Milo were still at it with Matlab. I decided to have a final shot at it. Waving a white flag I approached it. Slowly.... Is the suspense building? Matlab doesn't want to see me ever again. :( It wouldn't plot the darn histogram that I wanted it to plot. That was it- I logged of, didn't bother attempted saving my workspace, and sat there glaring at the computer whilst Milo and Jake typed away.

Now my matlab rant is over. I've extended my hand of friendship and it has been brutally declined. You tell me, what can a bean possibly do? Sigh.

Moving on. Today I have deduced that maths lecturers have super cool physic powers. *draws a black box*. End of story. ;) Although if you're not a maths lecturer and think that you may have some powers, contact me and I'll see what I can do. Now in my bouncy mood today, I ended up having conversations with about four maths lecturers each in different places and circumstances of course. My PT had unfortunately seen me 'bounce'.

Anyway, yesterday as I sat in the calculus lecture (angular momentum was mentioned- run for your lives!), I realised that there is another reason why I'd prefer to remain as beans (apart from my family reading this blog that is!). You see I worry, that just say that my lecturers did happen to realise that the person sitting over there, with the freaky face is beans, what would they do. I mean I know that quite a few of my posts have been posted whilst I wasn't particularly calm and maybe when I read them again some time I'll edit stuff out. I tend to say things on impulse, and if I don't sometimes think before speaking who says I'm going to think before typing. :o

Now as someone previously commented, I figure that one or two lecturers might have stumbled across this blog
. (Hey if you're reading!) This doesn't 'freak' me out like it did before. (well am I turning seven soon.) Anyway, firstly what I hope is that you don't get offended by my comments, because they're not meant to cause offence. Rather you could educate me on how I can go right (please :) ). And my opinion doesn't reflect on how everyone feels, I'm weird if you haven't already deduced this, so I can be 'dismissed'. So what I'm trying to say, if they knew who I was would they treat me differently. I mean just say they don't like something they read, would they 'not' like me for it. My thoughts go back to this post on Alexandre Borovik's blog. That's probably got nothing to do with what I'm trying to say, but my mind seemed to fall onto that. Maybe I'm looking too much into this, but yesterday in calculus, 'angular' momentum did something to my brain.

Enough of that train of thought. Since school and college I have had a knack of 'befriending' my teachers. Now obviously it's different at university since you don't generally get to know your lecturers the way you know your school teachers. You don't see your maths lecturer if you're walking to the 'chemistry' lab in University, because it's such a big ocean. Noddy commented on this and it's true- in university you're an ickle fish in the big bad ocean. You do your own business and everyone else theres. There's no 'interacting' with lecturers in this world. Probably only your supervisors.

Old habits die hard as they say, is probably true in my case. I didn't like the fact that it was so 'impersonal'. I tend to approach lecturers at the end (most of the time because I didn't get something from the lecture) but this also gives me a chance of having light banter with them. You know 'conversations'. This seems weird to some people and to the Tweenies as well. Milo found it especially weird. You see Milo would only approach lecturers on a 'professional' platform so to speak. I don't know why but I seem to bounce towards the lecturer, and then bounce away - in the most weird way of course. Now I don't know how much of a reflection my blog gives of the kind of person I am, but I'm not to normal if you don't already know. So how do lecturers actually feel about talking to students? I mean some probably recoil when they see me (I have that affect on people) but say everyone apart from me? Or am the only saddo who likes interacting with lecturers? Do they want students to talk to them, or would they rather be left to only lecturing us and returning to their research, or other things which they might do?

You see, as I continue to drag this out, someone said to me that before I open my mouth and people see me, they probably have a 'stereotype' or 'preconceived image' of how I'm going to behave, as this person did. This is perfectly normal, we all have first impressions etc. However the one thing that shocks people is the way I'm not quite like how they possibly perceived me to be. As soon as I open my mouth, this impression of me changes- hopefully not in a bad way! That's why I tend to shock people. :D (although some people are pretty cool and take my abnormal personality in their stride!) Normal social rules and stereotypes don't apply to me- I mean what normal person would want to walk into a door to experiment slow motion falling? (I've since figured that the density of the door matters!). So... where am I going again? Have all the lecturers ran for their lives yet:D. (I'm not as bad as it seems, I mean you could always tell me to shut up and get the heck outta your face in a nice way ;) Although I do shut up eventually!). However to the lecturers I talked to today- they're all cool.

Oh I have to mention this- Linear Algebra lectures are too good. I mean for a second I got lost in the 'technical lemma' of the not so technical way we were doing things! (confused? welcome to my world!). But I'm going to go over my notes once more and drive it home. It seems that we're doing bases etc etc and this is proving to be a good revision as well as doing new bits. BTW today Prof S asked what a spanning set was. He was met with silence. I turned to Milo. We both conferred the answer. Silently agreed upon one but continued looking blank. I mean I'm not stupid- we hadn't agreed on the right answer! Anyway Prof S asked this guy for the answer and the guy answered so calmly and in a cool way. I would have recoiled in fear and melted!

I mean last semester whilst me and Fizz had been shouting out where numbers went to in the composition of perms, Dr C had turned around and asked us why! We had both been gobsmacked and continued to look at each other hoping for him to be asking someone else. Upon looking up he had still been expectantly looking at us for an answer and I had no choice but to mutter some mumbo jumbo! I could feel the blood pounding in my head. Thankfully today, no such thing happens and I pray that in future nothing like this happens as well. I mean sometimes a moment of madness overcomes me and I blurt something stupid out, but them times are very rare. If there were only say 15/20 people present then I probably wouldn't mind saying the wrong answers. But in front of 250 people- you've got to be kidding me!

I could go on about the lecture, but that will be just for my sake. Tomorrows going to be a busy day indeed. Matlab lab session, followed by a lecture, then the undergrad seminar which now Fizz will also be attending, then more Matlab. :\

Now you see why I had to take a break to Mathistan! Although I guess my mini break away from Mathistan is over now- back to bases, matlab, sequence and series and maybe another ickle post ;). Hurrah.

PS: Is it once again sad, that I'm looking forward to tomorrow's undergraduate seminar? I mean I know what happened last time when I got excited!

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